Gettin' real

This morning I felt defeated. I was overwhelmed. My patience was gone. I was angry at everyone.

And it was only 10:00am!

It was going to be a looooong day.

But God's grace is good, and you know what? I made it through the morning. And the afternoon too.

I've had a few moments to sit and think about why I've been loosing my patience so often lately. To be frank, my attitude has been complete junk. It's as if an alien has taken over my body. It comes in, invades my being and makes me say terrible things.

Oh wait. That's right, I don't believe in aliens.

Crud.

It must just be me then.

Bummer.

Back to square one.

My attitude is crummy. So I sat down today and confessed it to the Lord. Asked for forgiveness and asked for grace. But then, I had to do the hard part. I had to ask that I would BE grace and forgiveness to my husband and children. That I would take joy in serving them and loving them. That I would love them as Jesus would love them.

Ouch. That was hard. Not because I don't want to do this. Oh, I want more than anything to do this. But because I know I am so very very guilty of letting my flesh get in the way.

I have a lot of wants. I have a lot of hobbies. I have a lot of passions.

And oh my word, I can be selfish.

But praise Jesus that He is everything that I am not.

That He can take my messed up attitude and change my heart.

That He can show me how to love unselfishly.

 

To be honest, I'm stressed out all the time.

But today, sitting here in my quiet house, I hear the Lord telling me So what?

So what if your time is not your own?

Look around!

Find me!

I'm not in all those things, therefore, you spending your time on all of them is not making you happy.

In fact, it's making you unhappy.

And grumpy.

And mean.

So fix your eyes on me.

I got you.

You are mine.

You have one agenda today; love your husband and love your children like I would love them.

That's your job for now.

That's what I want you to do today.

Stop comparing your life to others.

That will never make you feel better.

You have what you have because I have given it to you.

 

So that's what I'll do. I will walk in obedience today. But tomorrow morning my flesh will try to creep in again. And again, and again, and again.

And I'll have a choice to make. Allow my flesh to win, or choose to love like Jesus.

It's a constant walk friends, a constant walk.